“My Mom Got Shot In The Head” – Trevor Noah – (It’s My Culture)


And it was a Sunday morning I was in bed still asleep, it was
early in the morning maybe like 9 or 10 o’clock. and the phone rings and it’s my baby brother
using my mom’s phone his name is Isaac, he’s 9 years old so I answer the phone like, hello? “Hello, Trevor?” I said, hey Isaac what do you want? “How are you?” I am fine thanks. “I am also fine, thank you.” I am fine thanks and how are you Isaac? “I am fine thanks and how are you? I am fine thank you. “It’s a pleasure.” “Oh, and Trevor are you busy?” yes sort of, why? “No, because mom’s been shot.” I am sorry, what? “Yeah, mom has been shot and we are
at the hospital. Can you come?” Mom’s been shot, okay,
what do you mean? Okay of course I can
come, which hospital? and he tells me the hospital. can you come? Like he is to polite for his own good can you come? Like I am going to have to
slot mom into my schedule “Oh, coffee at two and then, eish! PlayStation at one,
okay mom we will try… Come on, can I come? of course I can come, I am panicking. I jump out of bed, I am running around I am trying to put my clothes on, some things are backwards I don’t even notice, I don’t even care I grab the car keys but I
am looking for the car keys I am busy running around
there, losing my mind I jump into the car, into the streets as soon as I am out the gate,
the tears start coming out You cant even control it, you are
just driving and all of the sudden (Crying) I am driving, I am trying to hold it back but then I get to the
traffic light and the robot is red and I let it out, it just comes out (crying) NO don’t wash my window! No, no, don’t, don’t! Hey, no, no, hey, no, no! Hey, no. (crying) there I am, driving to the
hospital like a mad man I get there, jump out the car my brother is standing there
at the emergency section I see him outside, he is just standing
like nothing happened, looking around I am like, Isaac what happened? He’s like, “Mom got shot, she’s inside” I am like, are you okay? He’s like, “mom was shot, not me.” No, that’s not what I am saying you idiot whatever, I am coming back So I run inside My mom is in the prep area, all the
doctors are standing around her there is blood everywhere,
I am looking at the doctors and just by the way doctors are not as good looking
as they are on those T.V shows No, like they set the bar really high I was shocked because
I ran in and was like what the hell (Confused) Sorry, that was inappropriate,
what’s happening here guys? “Sir, you need to leave” I said I was sorry, what’s happening? No sir, you cant be
here please leave. I am like whatever, okay. So I go outside, the nurse
come to me and she is like “Mr. Noah?”
I said yes. “Okay Mr. Noah, we have your
wife stabilized right now and” I said, my wife? She said yes, that’s Mrs. Noah right? Yes, that’s my mom. Oh, I am sorry thought she was Come on, why would you think she is my wife? You think I would, she
is cool but I mean like have you seen the girls oh, I will show you the pictures
afterward. What’s going on? She’s like, “Okay Mr. Noah your mom has just been stabilized and we are
gonna have to start thinking about surgery She has been shot in the head and she
has been shot in the lower buttox region so this is a very serious thing. I am like, yes it is
so what’s happening? “Well, we just found out that
she doesn’t have medical aid. I said, what? She goes, yeah she
doesn’t have medical aid. Now my mom always had
medical aid, always but now it turns out she canceled it a few years ago I didn’t know this, she canceled it because she never gets sick. you know those people? I never get sick, I
never get sick Trevor I never get sick, I don’t know why
I have this. I never get sick Yes, but you didn’t think of bullets. Now she is in the hospital, no medical aid So I said to the nurse, what does this mean? She says well it means we are going to
have to put her back in the ambulance and send her to a public hospital. I said, but she is bleeding
now, you cant send her She said, ” I am sorry sir but that is all
we can do, she has to go to public hospital” Now I am panicking, a public hospital? Normally a good place to go, normally but now what’s happening is
just mis-administation of funds money is going missing, you
don’t know what’s happening they don’t have the right equipment now I am picturing guys
trying to fix my mom There’s the doctor, “give me a scalpel” “We got a spanner” “Yeah, bring it. At least it’s a shifting okay, lets try something.” I am stressed. so I said, well what do we
do without medical aid? She says, “well, nothing sir.” I said well what if I
give you the money? She says, “well, you don’t know
how much it will cost sir you cant unless you give us your card
and then we just work from there I said well take my card,
here’s my credit card. She goes, “Sir, it can
get very expensive” I said, this is my mom this is my mom, you use the money.
Go! She goes, don’t tell me it’s expensive this is my mother we are
talking about, you know? I realized through this I
have neglected my brother he’s been standing there the
whole time with these big eyes So I am like hey Isaac,
hey Isaac what’s on your mind man you okay big boy? His like, “Trevor?” Yes? “can I come to your house and
play PlayStation later today?” How can you ask me about PlayStation,
your mom has just been shot you cant be asking me about that, whats
wrong with you you stupid child! You know what, you are never going
to play PlayStation again, ever no PlayStation for you ever in your life, ever Go away, go sit down and think about what you just said! PlayStation, how the hell is he
going to ask me about PlayStation the nurse comes back and
she goes, “Okay Mr. Noah we just used R900 for some blood tests.” I am like okay, why are
you telling me this? It’s R900, this is my mom.
Use the money, go! She goes away. R900, how
you gonna talk about that? She comes back and says, ” Mr. Noah
we need R2000 for some x-rays” This is my mom, not a pair of jeans use the money, go! She goes away, I am like
my mom is going to die busy asking me questions over here My mom is gonna die,
my mom’s gonna die that’s all I am saying, and I
say it and my brother hears me He starts crying. (crying) I am like, Isaac I am sorry. I am sorry, are you okay? He says, “I am not okay” “you said I am never going to play
PlayStation ever in my life! now I cant play Need for Speed
and cant play PlayStation” I am like, you still crying about PlayStation? you have no right to cry, you hear me! Shut up, stop crying! You cant cry about this,
you shut up! Now a woman comes out, she
knows my mom has been shot now she thinks I am telling my
brother not to cry about my mom She just gets involved, she is like “Hey, you let him cry okay! you let him cry, some people
express their pain in different ways you let him cry!” I am like I will not let him cry
lady, I will not let him cry many kids grow up without one, okay this is not, it’s fine like, he should go play
in the park or something it’s not the time to cry
right now, what the hell you spoil your kids,
that’s your problem you take it away from them so
they can learn about life! You and you, you both shut up!
All of you, shut up! I am telling them this,
the nurse comes back She goes, “Mr Noah, we
are ready for surgery.” I am like, so do the surgery. She says, “yes but sir,
this can get very expensive ICU and surgery is very expensive” I am like, Lady what is expensive?
This is my mother. She says, “anywhere from like R20 000” I am like, R20 000?
This is my mom. “all the way to like R500 000.” Yo, but she has lived hey? I mean I mean she is like what 57, 57? it’s almost finished, you know? even she says she is old, I mean.
You know? You said the bullet is in the head,
I mean the head, it’s finished. yo, because with that money we
need to pay for the funeral we need to buy scones for everybody this guy needs a
PlayStation, you know so I don’t know if she says, “Sir we need the go ahead
otherwise we cant do anything” I said okay, well use the card.
Just use the card we will handle the debt She goes away, I am stressed because I have seen this happen to people go into hospital, don’t
have enough money use your credit card and the next
thing you are in debt for years and the person could die the person dies and when they die the doctor doesn’t give
you your money back No, no he doesn’t because he tried and
that is all he has to do you will get there and be
like, Doctor did you win? He would be like
(Ironic sound) and your money is gone that is all I was stressed about but the most amazing thing happened turns out my mother was not that badly hurt. it was a miracle really the ass bullets didn’t do much damage because my family is gifted. the head bullet didn’t hit anything vital other than the head, obviously but it missed her spinal cord missed the nerves,
didn’t touch the brain went right through, missed the eye hit the eye socket and deflected and all it did was cut a
piece of her nostril off just one side and the bullet went out clean. which meant she didn’t have to
go in for intensive surgery and her recovery was only a week. Yeah, a week.
Which was fantastic because that means the bill was only R24 000. and she is alive, yes
but the bill was only R24 000 this was great, really great because R25 000 was my cut-off So You laugh but that is how much I
calculated I am willing to pay my mom back for all the Ultramel custard
I have consumed in my life. everything else, none of my business food, clothes, schooling, all
of that stuff I am not paying I hate it when the parents
say that to they’re kids “You know how hard I have to work
for your bloody school and clothes” “No, no, no! I didn’t ask to be born,
that’s your job. Please, you handle that I asked for the Ultramel,
we can keep a tab don’t involve me in your things.” and that is what I calculated, R25 000. I would have been there, R24 750 I would have been
there by the doctor Hey Doc, it’s fine my man.
No stop. no, you tried you tried, it’s cool no you tried, just switch
off there, switch off How much, 250 left? we will pop a draw, just
switch off there, it’s fine you tried. it was fantastic I told my mom about
the 25, she laughed she didn’t know I was serious. and to show you what a
crazy family we have my mom is in the recovery ward she has got these tubes
in her and everything and an I.V and my brother is in the
corner, bored out of his mind and my grandmother is in the
other corner reading the bible and I am holding my mom’s
hand and I am crying still crying, this is a week later.
I am still crying (crying) I have been crying the whole week but I have also been using this time
to cry for other things in my life. No, because as a man you
need to know when to cry you loop it all together and you
just cry one time, it’s like like we cry in bulk,
you got to understand You don’t just cry, one, one, one, no cry in bulk. so I am crying for everything (crying) and my mom looks at me and she goes “Shh Trevor, don’t
cry my baby” I said no mom I got to cry,
you where shot in the head. She says no, look on the bright side I said, what bright side? She said, at least now
because of my nose you are officially the best
looking person in the family. I was like, by default.
(crying)

100 thoughts on ““My Mom Got Shot In The Head” – Trevor Noah – (It’s My Culture)”

  1. Thanks for watching! πŸ™ŒπŸΎSubscribe & turn on notifications to find out when I upload new videos! http://bit.ly/SubscribeTrevorNoah

  2. These standup comedian are pathetic.
    His mom was shot and he's making medium to earn money using that joke HAHA not funny

  3. i love that joke from your mum. if you was in the usa. your bill would have been more like 2 million rand

  4. Just about to wrap reading his book Born A Crime,and it feels good he is sharing this story in person,I have deeply connected to the emotions and trauma Trevor and his family went through,true African prince God bless you and your Mama!!

  5. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Malaysia's healthcare is expensive
    I got a 2 stiches for 2000 dollars
    I dont know how to do this

  6. It costs me , 1500$ just for a fkn prescription for a medicine that I already use , i was really surprised , it's the worst thing about the USA

  7. I have a great sense of humor but don't find this funny my mom got shot in the head while my 8 yr.old brother sat next to her.

  8. Have to be honest, didn't laugh (cause how anxious I am) until he mention his mother was alive from the shot.

  9. I'm a young upcoming South African artist please check my new single

    https://music.apple.com/za/album/ethanol-single/1475211284

  10. isaac:mom got shot in the head can i play playstation
    (some times later)
    isaac: dad got shot with an rpg can i play playstation
    (more some time later)
    isaac: grandma got abducted by an alien from area 51 can i play playstation
    (more than last time later)
    isaac:grandpa got crushed by a meteor can i play playstation

  11. Wait but who shot her? What’s the context? Jokes were funny but I’m interested in the story.

  12. Great comedian but I lost interest i him after findig he is supporting terrorist organisation known as Muslim brotherhood… This is just sad…
    https://clarionproject.org/dem-candidates-sanders-castro-to-speak-at-radical-islamist-convention/

  13. That sobbing was me when my mum was in a car accident. She is fine. Wasn't badly injured, but I still sobbed after finding out she was fine.

  14. Trevor: tells us how he started bawling his eyes out in the car.

    Me: *makes a weird face stuck between laughter and cry* should I laugh? Should I cry? I'm going to hell for this. *continues to half howl-half laugh-half cry with that weird face still going on*

  15. Ok I am just gonna say this ONES (shouting from europe over to America), MEDICAL CARE IS A HUMAN RIGHT SO GET MOTHERFUCKING FREE HEALTH CARE YOU MONEYWHORES!!!!

  16. My crush on Trevor continues to grow.😊❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

  17. Damn, I know he’s lighthearted about it but I just felt bad for him hearing the story. That must’ve been a whole lot to deal with.

  18. "What the hell is happe… Ewwwwwwwww
    Im sorry, that was inappropriate"

    "Sir you have to leave"

    I SAID I WAS SORRY HAHAHAHAHA πŸ˜‚

  19. African culture too polite πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ the greeting had me dying πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.
    Thats how my nephew greets

  20. at the end of the act at 10:50, what did he mean with "i was like, by default." i am german an dont understand this.

  21. "I get to the traffic light, the robot is red" – about 30 seconds later i remembered that in south africa they refer to traffic lights as robots but that threw me lol

  22. My worst fear is if I'm fake dying and they say let's play Trevor just to make sure πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚

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